Diving deep again

I indulged this past week and took Monday afternoon off to see Sir. With his schedule, that gave us the most possible time. I hadn't dared to tell him, but I found myself craving some real intensity and I wanted my limits pushed. It was like all my longing during May needed an outlet. I tried to make sure that I wasn't expecting it, though. If I didn't have the guts to communicate it, I'd better not work myself up if I didn't get it!

I was so excited and happy to see Sir. I almost hurried through my preparations and my head was full of remembering the previous weekend (this had consequences later). I was actually almost half an hour early! Since I knew Sir would have only gotten home recently, I decided not to call him. Instead, I just sat in my car and listened to my iPod. Finally I couldn't wait any longer, and I was now less than ten minutes early.

The towel was waiting for me on the living room floor. I knelt and waited for Sir. That sense of peace and rightness settled over me. Here was where I wanted and needed to be. I focused on being as open as I could be. Finally, I heard his step behind me. His hand in my hair was promptly followed by his cock in my mouth. Bliss! At one point, he was smacking my ass with the crop in his hand while I was sucking his cock; that was fun! We played like that for a while.

Then Sir decided to put the nipple clamps on. I was just so happy to be there, to be with him again, I couldn't resist finding a way to sneak a cuddle. I ended up being a bit cat-like and rubbing my face against his arm while he put the clamps on. I'm not sure why this bit sticks in my head so, but it has. The blindfold went on next. Sir led me down the hallway to his study.

I was so flattered -- Sir wanted to show me off on cam while I sucked his cock. Time just kind of went away for a lovely long time, as I knelt and reveled in what I was doing. Sir had fun playing with the clamps and pulling on the chain. It was so hard to be quiet when he did that. Fortunately, the clamps came off at some point in there. Sometimes, Sir would pass along compliments he was getting about the show. Those mostly made me proud, but there was a part of me that was just squirming that strangers were watching me too. At one point, Sir even fucked me on cam (another first!). That is when I wished I were taller, because it gets hard to maintain my balance on my toes like that.

Finally Sir decided he wanted to flog me. I was just dancing inside, because Sir does not flog me lightly (not anymore!) and I so wanted a good thorough beating. Still blindfolded, he led me out the living room, placed me against the wall, and got me a wonderfully cold bottle of water. Then, it was time. I was just blissful. Getting flogged is one of those things that can just send me so deep so quickly. I think I'm getting better at controlling my breathing. Sir didn't have to tell me to slow down nearly as much as he used to.

It was not a conscious thing, but as the flogging moved up in intensity, I found myself repeating over and over in my head, "I want this." I'm still not sure exactly why. It did make it much easier to take the pain in. Looking back, I think it also helped to keep me from tightening up and beginning to panic about being overwhelmed by all the sensation. I hope I'm learning to move past that. I really want to feel completely overwhelmed again.

This did become quite the intense flogging. Sir worked up through several floggers to "Moosey" as the moose-hide flogger is affectionately nicknamed. Then he worked back down. Finally, he came to me, placed the handle of the flogger up against my cunt and told me to close my legs and hold it there. He played with my nipples a bit, and then simply leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Cum!" Oh my did I! These days, it's like there's just so much pent up inside me when I'm with Sir. And that one little word is all it takes to release it. I'm still fascinated by how different orgasms can be, though! :D Once I calmed down a bit, Sir made me lick the flogger handle clean.

Then it was off to the bed, still following him, just a bit shaky now! On all fours on the bed, I was rewarded with his cock in my cunt. Nearly instantly, I was having to work so hard not to cum. Sir was very generous and gave me permission to cum very soon. That was so wonderful! Sir then decided it was time to fuck my ass. I'm not sure why, but it was very painful at first. Fortunately, we moved past that quickly and then it was so good. Sir noticed I was trying hard not to cum again, and gave me permission again!

At that point, I came crashing down a bit. I've been enjoying that getting that waxing meant I didn't have to shave and my cunt was still staying nice and smooth. Well I'd managed to forget about the hairs that were missed. I hadn't shaved them off, and Sir had noticed. One of the very first rules he gave me was that any time I saw him, I was to be freshly shaved and smooth. He certainly approves of the waxing, but he was very disappointed that I hadn't shaved those long hairs off.

Thus, I wasn't allowed to cum again that day. There would be more consequences later. Sir continued to enjoy fucking my ass for a while, and I just had to hang on and not cum. Then I was told that I would be feeling the cane today. I shivered -- I'd only been caned once before and I knew Sir had gone lightly and easily on me, and it had been very hard. I was still feeling very badly that I had neglected something that I knew I needed to take care of.

Sir had me lay flat on the bed, picked up the cane, and wondered aloud how many I should get. He decided that since the next day was 6/6/06, there should be 18 strokes. I was to count each of them. I was getting very worried now -- I think I got about 4 or 5 good whacks the last time with a cane. I could not imagine how I was going to get through 18, much less keep count. I took a deep breath and figured I'd find a way somehow. Sir had never pushed me past what I could take before.

Tap, tap, tap across my ass -- somehow that just seemed to make me tense up more. Swish -- crack! "One, Sir." Damn that was white-hot. I tried hard to breath slowly and deeply. He kept working up and down my ass and thighs. It was a real struggle to stay there, to take it. Sir did have to stop and remind me to slow down, to breathe, several times. At one point he snapped out at me to take the pain, that I deserved it. That helped. It focused me again and made me determined that I would get through this and please him.

By the last few, I couldn't stop from crying out and this odd whimper/sobbing, but I did it. I was so relieved to be able to get out "Eighteen, Sir!" and just collapse on the bed, shaking and whimpering. Sir was right there, soothing me, telling me I was a good girl. He also pointed out that I took much more than I thought I could, which made me very proud. The lovely soft rabbit fur soothed my ass, and I calmed down. Sir laid down next to me and held me. I so needed that connection again. I could feel the heat from my ass though!

After a little bit, I was allowed to suck Sir's cock again and to lick his ass. I so love pleasing him like that -- he is very clear how much he enjoys that, which makes it even better for me.

Then we thought we were done, I was still laying on the bed as Sir was moving toys and things around. Curious, I asked him which canes he'd used on me. I knew there were a couple of them. I was amazed that I managed to take the bamboo one -- it looked big! Sir pointed out that he hadn't used the big green acrylic one, for which I was very thankful! He was moving things around again and I saw that nasty green palm-tree looking thing. Silly me commented on how much I hated that. Sir grinned, recalled when he'd last used it on me (only our second scene!), and promptly used it on my tits. That thing is SHARP and I'm not fond of it.

This lead into the tour of the toybox -- which was fun! I also made the mistake of pointing out to Sir that he'd never used a paddle on me, or a slapper. He quickly remedied that! He also found this evil looking thing that had two leather tails shaped like long sharply pointed leaves on the end. That thing is NASTY -- the best I could describe it to him was like the worst of the cane and the paddle, because it is a white-hot pain, but spread over a wide area.

Then I ended up rolling over on my back (still not sure how that happened), and he used a couple of short leather strap-like things and the crop and his hands on my tits and my cunt and my thighs. Ooooh it was so hard to stay where he wanted me! I still have a significant tendency to pull my legs up when he's smacking my cunt, but I do always manage to put my legs back down. To me, that is another reinforcement that I submit to Sir, that nothing is forced. I don't want him to smack my thighs with the short strap, but he wants to, so I lay my legs down and leave my cunt open to him again.

Finally, it was off to the tub. I knelt in the tub, faced Sir, and took a deep breath. This time, he made me tell him that I did want him to piss on me. So he did. This is still something that just picks my brain up, shakes it for a bit, and then rolls it around. It is almost completely mental for me.

I certainly got the intensity that I'd been longing for! It took me quite a while to come down! I went to get myself some dinner, since L wasn't home that night. Every time I moved, I was VERY aware of how I'd spent my afternoon, and I loved it. Most importantly, I'd been able to go deep as I had been longing, to just give myself up to Sir and feel and please him.